This is the Way the Delicious Ends

History

Long ago, there was an ancient civilization of Mexicans who lived in Portugal.  They were the Mayans.  The Mayans were great geologists, predicting cosmic events through the use of geysers spouting in musical numbers, most of which correspond exactly to the tunes of Enrique Iglesias.  To this day, modern science has been unable to ascertain exactly why the Mayans were okay with this.

Perhaps the most impressive event predicted, however, was the eventual rise of the dinosaurs.  The dinosaurs, convinced of their own superiority, waged a bloody war against the Mayans, forcing them to migrate from Portugal to Mexico.  The dinosaurs thought the Spanish were pretty chill, so they got along, at least until Pope Ivory (sp) III began the Spanish Inquisition.  Modern sources attribute the event to a meteor.

Once they had arrived in Mexico, the Mayans came to the sudden and terrifying realization that they had no idea what Mexicans ate.  They decided, as a final proverbial middle finger to the dinosaurs who had led them to Mexico, they should use some of the dinosaur meat and some of the native fauna to make a dish to survive the ages.  With this, tacos were born out of ground dinosaurs, and a very convenient selection of spices.  They concluded that their stores of dinosaur meat would run out around the time currently decided to be the year two-thousand and twelve.

...Oh shit.

Making the Frugal Magic Happen

Passive-aggressive tea mug.

So, just as a forewarning, the pictures will include ground turkey for this recipe, but I actually don't think it's worth substituting for ground beef.  The texture is off by enough that I don't think I can do so, but you may think otherwise!  Anyway, LET'S GET COOKING!  Here's basically the bare minimum, with not much spiciness (and what the pictures reflect, mostly, but I'll indicate where you can add more stuff):

BREAKFAST OF CHAMPIONS.

• Most importantly, ground beef (pictured as turkey, because I suck), minimum 1 pound
• Onions and other sorts of non-leafy vegetables that aren't potatoes.  Pretty much any type of pepper will work here, anaheims and habaneros for maximum intensity
• The following spice names have been mostly jacked from this recipe I found a while ago and loved
• Cumin
• Chili powder
• Garlic salt
• Basil
• Oregano
• Cayenne pepper (not strictly necessary, but who wants tacos that don't have a bit of a punch at all?)
• For extra spicy, red pepper flakes
• Shells of some sort, or, you know, tortillas
• Whatever you like on tacos, yo!  I can't eat them without cheese and salsa.  I think sour cream is blasphemous, but I know some people appreciate destroying their food...

This is how I feel in the morning.

This one's hella easy.  Take yo meat and brown it, which is basically putting it in a pan with some oil (see right) and breaking it up into smaller little bits.  Flip around (safely, with a spatula and stuff) for even browning of meatiness.  While this happens you can chop your onions and peppers and stuff, preferably into fairly small pieces so that you don't have to worry about that when you're nomming this deliciousness.

This is how I feel after sitting on a frying pan for fifteen minutes.

Once you've browned it (and it should look similar to the picture at right), the hardest part is basically done.  At this point you just add some spices (I never actually measure, but use your best judgment - basil and oregano are fairly strong compared to the other stuff, so use them with a bit more sparing than the others.  Chili powder and cumin are the more important ones here, so don't be afraid to use a decent amount), the veggies, and just a touch of water, enough to let everything mix up a bit, and then you go back to stirring it around over heat for a few minutes.

THE FINAL STAGE

When that's done, you should get something very similar to this, at right.  The second hardest part is now done, and oh man does it look fantastic.  I like to let mine heat up long enough that most of the extra juice has evaporated, as I'm not a fan of messy tacos, but if you're doing something else with this like taco salad, you might want to keep it.  

With this done, you have no more actual "cooking" left to do - it's all funsies from here!

Tell me you ain't jelly.  TELL ME. YOU AIN'T JELLY.

Take a tortilla (or for taco salad, your chips) on a plate, spread some amount of excellence on it, top with cheese, salsa, sour cream, whatever you like, and BOOM.  Best part?  You know what's in this taco, and it's all good.

This stuff is great for parties (obviously use more meat though), although that being the case you might want to get some more hot sauces (Mexican and Indian stores would be good for this, they're generally cheaper than supermarket varieties, and a lot more effective) and maybe even consider getting/making hard taco shells for those strange people.  (Link here - note that when using allrecipes.com, the comments are just as valuable as the actual recipe, someone suggested just spraying tortillas with cooking spray and baking draped over the oven rack until crispy, which sounds legit to me).  

So, now that the method is done being described, let's do some cost analysis!

Frugality

• Ground turkey - $2.20/lb, assume ground beef is about $1.20 more per pound?  $3.40/lb, I can get two meals out of a pound, so $1.70/meal
• Onion - $.58/1, $.29 to use half
• Tortillas - $1.79/8, 4 per pound -> 2 per meal -> $.45
• Cheese - $1.59/bag, 10 meals out of this would equate to $.16 per
• Salsa - Not sure, but I don't think $.25 per meal is too much to estimate
• Spices - psh

Add it all up, and you get something in the neighborhood of $2.60/meal.  Peppers are pretty cheap (I can get anaheims at $5/lb and habaneros at $1.20/lb at the Kroger nearby, and you don't need anywhere near a pound for these), and hot sauces would be in the same "psh" category as spices since they should last at least a year or two and cost becomes close to negligible.  So, maybe not the most frugal option that will ever be on here, but still pretty good compared to, say, campus, or Taco Bell.  Plus, the options are limitless, and you can have a lot of fun just mixing and matching various ideas at pretty much any point in the game.

So, that's frugal homemade tacos for you!  Hope you've enjoyed this entry of the Frugal Undergrad College Kitchen, and feel free to leave any comments down below.  I think when I made the last entry it was restricted to only people with Google accounts, so that's been changed I believe, so you can make anonymous comments now.  Happy Fruncoking!

The Leviathan or the Egg

Today's entry brought to you by egg salad, and also tea tumblers.


History


The first egg was discovered as a fossil somewhere in the Russian wasteland of Minnesota.  The scientists who uncovered it debated its purpose for some time, not entirely sure why anyone would need something shaped sort of like a sphere but not really, because until then all they worked with was spheres (hence the current bias in modern physics for perfect spheres in problems, and also because you can put them in your pants and look Mongolian, which was a compliment in those days).

Finally, after the egg fossil had been passed around a while, a Biblical scholar by the name of Raymond Banes decided it had to be the intended offspring of the Leviathan.  The egg was revitalized with voodoo magic, and from it came a chicken.  Raymond Banes took credit for this discovery, and then doused the second ever chicken in Greek fire.  It turned out to be delicious, and Raisin' Cane's was born.

Professional Egg Salad


Okay, so it's not, per se, professional.  It is, however, pretty good for minimal effort (I got in a couple levels of Super Mario World 2 in the downtime), cheap, and it'll last a while.  So what'll you need?

• 6 large eggs
• Mayonnaise
• Salt and pepper
• Lemon juice
• 3 stalks celery
• Some chives
• Bread
• Grey poupon mustard

I can't wait for Christmas!

Also as pictured, because I'm a swell guy like that.  You can also see my new tea tumbler I got today, which I'm very excited for!  

Now, note that this stuff, for the most part, is either hella cheap or you buy it once and replace it like eight years later.  I use mayo like once a month, maybe, which is somewhat un-frugal since it doesn't last as long as I would like it at such a rate, but eh.  

Now, the first step is to hardboil these suckers.  The problem with such an idea is that there are about a thousand different ways to hardboil eggs, apparently.  I was Googling for about fifteen minutes just trying to find some consistencies between any two besides "put water on eggs", and I was having a lot of trouble just doing that.  Finally I just picked one and (mostly) went with it, and I couldn't find anything wrong with it.  SO!  How does one hardboil?  Easy: get some eggs, put them in a pot, fill that pot with cold water (yes, order apparently does matter), bring it to an uncovered boil, then cover, turn off the heat, and let it sit for about fifteen minutes.

See also: a really big pot, a clock, our eggs, and my tea.  Because I NEED TEA.

Thus making it even easier to believe that eggs don't really require much culinary finesse to prepare (which is wrong, but shut up).  While your eggs get to a boil and after you cover them you have a lot of downtime: I got to chop the celery, slice my bread, and get my tea steeping while they got to a boil (okay, that last one isn't hard.  whatever).  Once you get the eggs a boilin' and covered, turn the heat off and put a lid (much easier than a ring) on it.  At this point you should get a bowl of cold water and stick it in your freezer so that you have uber cold water for when the eggs are done.  If you have a timer or whatever, make use of it - otherwise, you have a cell phone so really you still have a timer.  This was when I booted up my SNES and relived some of my childhood.

In a childhood far, far away...

Ah yes...those were the days.  Fifteen minutes later, after the second one of these...

I thank God for this one.

And the eggs were basically ready.  In actuality, you can get an extra couple minutes in here, since you need to put the eggs into the cold water you should have stuck in your freezer and let them sit more, for about three minutes or so, long enough to stop the cooking.  Meanwhile, help poor little baby Mario some more!  

Once that's been done, you need to peel some eggs.  This isn't actually that hard, the worst part is just getting the first crack in the egg so it peels off right.  If you take a spoon and lightly tap it against the same spot, you should eventually make some headway and you can pull off the rest of the shell to reveal the now tasty, murdered chicken embryo!  If life starts at conception, chicken life is oh so delicious.

If you look at it, it looks like a pure white butterfly on a celery field.

I dip them in the (formerly) cold water bath just to make sure they're pretty much clear of debris, then toss them in.  Here's where you can add the salt and pepper and dried chives and other stuff.  Also, before you start mashing, it's actually a lot easier if you mash, and then add the celery...I'll make better notes of things like that before taking pictures next time.

Anyway, take your fork and mash that shit down.  Once you don't have any obscenely large chunks left (but before it's down to a pulp...you violent person), add in the celery and start adding in some mayonnaise, a tablespoon at a time.  You want it to stick, but you don't want all the grossness of mayo in your egg salad.  That's just grody.  Add in a squirt of lemon juice or two, and bam!

I uh, I got a little something on the edge of the bowl.  It's not what it looks like.

Okay, it's mayo.  You caught me.  :(

This is what I like my egg salad looking like, but if you want more mayo (ick) then I guess that's allowed.  Just don't come back to this blog.  You icky person you.  How do you live with yourself.

From here, it's a simple matter of slapping onto bread and putting stuff on top of it.  I personally just need some dijon mustard, but lettuce works well too.

And that's egg salad!  I expect mine to be able to last for at least six sandwiches, which is three meals or so. Let's do a little cost analysis:

• Celery - $1.36, 8-10 stalks (~3 batches) -> 45 cents
• Eggs - $2.75, 18 (3 batches) ->  92 cents
• Salt/pepper - how do you not have these already
• Mayo - I'm not sure, maybe like $4/32oz jar?  If you use 3 tbsp each, then about 10 batches per jar     -> 40 cents
• Lemon juice - $2.19, a lot?  (assume like 20 batches I guess?) -> 10 cents
• Bread - I don't remember the cost of store bread, but I think my homemade is like 20 cents a loaf, after cost of gas probably 25 cents, and you get about 10 sandwiches per loaf if you slice thin -> 15 cents
• The grey poupon mustard is a little pricy, $3.39 per 12oz, but you can cut that out if you're hellbent on maximizing frugality, but assume 30 sandwiches (you don't need much) -> 11 cents

So take each item price and divide by how many batches it makes and you get that item's contribution.  Totalled up, without fancy mustard is $2.02 per batch, with mustard is $2.13.  Divide by three, you get right around 70 cents a meal. This would cost like, what, five bucks at Kroger?  You just cut your cost into a fraction, made a tastier meal, AND have something to write home about.  What's not to love?

Thus, the first blog entry of Frugal Undergrad College Kitchen comes to an end.  If you have something to say, be it "YOU'RE WRONG", or praise, or complaining about how much you hate eggs and why did this first FUCKing blog entry have to be about eggs, just put it in the comments!  I'll probably be checking obsessively for the next few hours while pretending to do homework, so don't let me down (please!).  I hope this has been a good reading experience for you, and happy Fruncoking to all!

Welcome to Fruncoki!

Hello world!

Been a while since I've typed that.  Anyway, world, welcome to the Frugal Undergrad College Kitchen!  (Note the first letters if you're wondering why in the world I chose those four words)  The reasoning behind each of those words is simple, other than the fact they acronymize into, well, you know.

Frugal: this blog is intended to be about saving money...

Undergrad: while being an undergraduate...

College: college student...

Kitchen: by making your own food!  (I mean you usually do this in a kitchen, mileage may vary)

You might be asking yourself "But Fruncoki writer, what makes you think YOU can talk about it?"  Well, let me tell you.  A year ago I thought "cheap food" as a college student was mostly limited to ramen and whatever in your fridge would taste good with ramen.  And I still ate out a lot.  Like, a lot.  At least once a day.  And at some point, I realized a couple things.

1) Eating out is expensive.  Holy crap it is a lot of money to be budgeting five bucks for a lunch, let alone eight to ten when you eat as much as I do (the Ohio State campus is gigantic and my two majors are centralized on almost opposite ends of campus, so I walk a lot).

2) I was getting really tired of all the places on campus, and I didn't even eat the "campus-brand" food - just the slightly higher-quality fast food next to campus.

Now, I like my food.  It was around the time I started getting tired of the campus-area convenient food that I decided I should eat, you know, real food.  From my kitchen.  I knew I could at least not disgrace recipes easily, because I've never heard a word spoken against my teriyaki chicken (which isn't actually mine, but I've made it enough that I have the recipe memorized, so whatevs).  So the potential was there, clearly.  I just had to stop being a lazy fat undergrad college kid.  

So that's mostly what this blog is about, my trials and tribulations in becoming a frugal fooding student.  There'll probably be other tangents of frugality in this as well, at some point, but it'll be either related to food or just a short and mostly inconsequential bit.  I'm going to try to be pretty broad in scope, focusing mostly on what kind of food college students dig, starting from a couple of bare essentials (like bread, pizza, etc.) and moving along up to more complicated stuff (like pizza with toppings).  No actual content sans introduction for this entry, but that should change in the next couple days or so.

Also, if anyone's dissuaded from the idea of making most of your own food because of time constraints, I'm a dual-degree student who's also working and I can do this (so far).  Just gotta learn to be efficient.

With that, I end this post to make some tea.  Until next time, happy Fruncoking!